Is it a dream or a memory
by briarose710
Summary: Set sometimes after Boone's death and before Shannons's I suppose. Shannon's having visions of someone from her past..is it real? or is it just her own guilty mind imagining things?


She woke with a silent scream on her lips.  
Body trembling as she tried to detangle her self from the cobwebby strands of memory in her mind..

"Shannon?" It was Sayid's voice beside her. His arms reaching for her to comfort her.  
"The dream again?" She nodded as she felt her body relax in his embrace. His lips soft and gentle as he tried to soothe away what he though was a nightmare. He knew it had plagued her for days. Since she had taken that solitary walk on the beach.

What he didn't know was though. Was that what he thought was merely a nightmare was really a memory haunting her. A memory of what she had done. Of the pain she had caused to an innocent bystander who , by some twist of fate, had ended up getting sucked into the game she was playing.

. Shannon was afraid to close her eyes as she laid there. She knew that memory would still be there, lurking just beyond her reach until sleep would start to overtake her . Then it would appear again The she would still see Samantha's tear-filled sapphire blue eyes as she had revealed that poisonous truth. She would still see Boone's grief-stricken face as he heard the news and she would still feel that overwhelming sense of guilt over what had happened. No sleep would not come for Shannon again that night.

Maybe a dream was all it had been that day on the beach.  
Who really knew on this godforsaken Island? Maybe she was going insane like that mad French woman . Would anyone blame her? With the talk of "The others" . With Sayid admitting to having heard things out in the jungle. This island seemed to do things to people. Hell Locke talked about it like it was an entity in itself. Weirder things had happened to her fellow survivors than what had happened to her, Still she tried to convince herself it had been a dream that the combination of the heat and the food and the grief she still felt over Boone .Her mind had to be playing tricks on her.

Because Samantha was gone had been for over a year now . And even is Shannon still carried around the guilt of her death she didn't believe in ghosts.

There had to be an explanation for that day on the beach. And explanation of why all of a sudden she had seen that petite figure ahead of her. Feet just beyond the shoreline as if she had been playing a game with the waves. Those heavy midnight black waves tumbling over shoulders and down to her waist. Contrasting sharply with the flowing silk summer dress she wore. A white lily tucked into those heavy masses of hair. The girl appeared to be laughing as if she was enjoying a foolish game. Shannon could swear it was her and then as the figure turned sapphire blue eyes meeting Shannon's azure . She could swear that smile froze. That the look had turned accusatory before she simply vanished from existence. Causing Shannon to blink as if waiting for her to re-appear.

The dreams had started then. Started because the figure she saw? Was wearing the same dress she had been wearing that fateful night.

She could see them laughing at the shore. Walking hand and hand. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the scene. Samantha squealing as the icy waves crashed at her feet. Boone laughing as he chastised her lightly for walking too close to the waters edge. Moonlight was glistening off the figures lending a ethereal glow to Boone's white dress shirt and Samantha's flowing white silk sheath. Through jealousy filtered eyes Shannon saw Boone playfully tuck a white lily he had snatched from a floral arrangements among her masses of midnight black waves . "Looks like a star among the sky" She could hear him comments as they drew closer. She could hear Samantha's laughter and see the pleased smile on her flushed and happy face .

And she hated her for it.

Had hated this girl before she'd ever even laid eyes on her,  
Since she had gotten that phone call from Boone.

Since she had heard the happy lilt in his voice when he had announced he was engaged,.

Engaged?

Boone?

She hadn't believed it at first. Couldn't believe it until she had seen them together, She had hated Samantha on sight. Shannon didn't' care if she was intelligent and sweet and loved Boone completely. The fact was She was taking Boone away from her. Not that Shannon wanted him for herself. No she wasn't' interested in him romantically. But Boone was in love with _her_ had been since he was ten years old. You could see it in the way he watched her , protected her , looked out for her. And now that bitch had come along and was about to take away the only person in Shannon's life who loved her despite her flaws?

Not if Shannon had anything to do with it.

She hadn't intended for things to end that way.

Had only intended to mess with Samantha's head a bit when she had pulled her aside .But after talking with her for a few moments after seeing the look of pure bliss on her face as she caught Boone's eye. As she saw that stupid lily contrasting so sharply with her dark hair where Boone had placed it so tenderly. As she caught sight of that diamond ring when she reached for champagne glass. The jealousy knotted in her stomach until it was a boiling black mass spewing forth from her lips as she said those hateful words.

"  
He's not in love with you. He's using you because he can't have me. He's been in love with me for years you're just a distraction a place filler"

Those trusting eyes had clouded in doubt. Tears threatening As Samantha had tried to deny what Shannon was saying. Her pretty face twisted in shock and disbelief as Shannon kept going , baiting her. Words spilling forth like a train wreck . And when Samantha had scanned the room for Boone as she vehemently denied what Shannon was saying. She could see that she had planted the seeds that her hateful words had hit the spot . Samantha had broken away from eh with a cry of desperation . Tearing off to search for Boone? Or perhaps just an escape route away from Shannon. No one would ever really know.

For it was with tear-filled eyes and a mind hazy with those ugly words replaying in it that Samantha had stepped into the street. Had not seen the oncoming car.

Shannon didn't' remember much of the chaos that had ensued. Her mind picked up on that image of Boone cradling Samantha in his arms. Blood now spotting that white silk she worse. Blood that was spotting Boone's arms and shirt as well. Tears falling freely from his eyes as he pressed as soft kiss to her unconscious forehead , as he whispered comforting words in her ear that she would never hear.  
Then finally Always the final scene in that nightmare was Boone's face as the doctors spoke to him in the hospital. Bloodstains standing out on what had been a pristine snowy white shirt. As his anguished cry had filled her ears..

"I'm sorry , I'm sorry , I didn't- I'm sorry" The words were in her head although she had never spoken them. Deep-seated guilt filled Shannon and started to break through to the surface as she detangled herself from Sayid's arms . 

Stealthily slipping away from the caves and down to the beach before tears could start to fall. The tears were slipping down her cheeks as she fell t the sand sobbing. Heart-wrenching sobs as she finally uttered the words out loud.

'I'm sorry. I didn't' mean for that to happen I'm so sorry Boone. So sorry"

Shoulders heaving as she sobbed out her grief over what she felt she had done. And to an extend the grief over Boone's death as well over the fact that she hadn't been there for him had as usual been so caught up in herself she was oblivious to anyone else.

She almost swore she could hear his voice, that soft comforting tone he had used so often on her tears. The words he always repeated,

'Come on Shan , don't' cry. It's alright. It's going to be alright"

A memory. It must have been, even if it sounded as if the words were being spoken, for Boone was gone. But the words calmed her nonetheless and as she raised herself to a sitting position, drawing her knees to her chest as she looked out over the dark e of water in front of her at moonlight glittering of off the ocean.

She caught her breath for she saw in the distance two figures walking hand in hand playing at the waters edge moonlight lending an ethereal glow to the couple as they embraced . And then turning to face her. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of that white lily standing out against midnight black waves of those laughing azure eyes as they met hers.

"Boone" She said it out loud in a soft whisper. Scared to speak louder as if her voice would cause him to disappear again.

She saw the figure lift a hand as if in greeting a happy smile on his face as he placed his arm around the girls waist.

And then they were gone and Shannon released her breath in a sigh.  
She didn't feel shaken as she had before . No now as she sat on that deserted beach the only sound the crashing waves she felt comforted almost.

She didn't know what it was supposed to mean.

Still had no idea what she had seen. And maybe it really was a dream and she would awaken in Sayid's arms.

What she did know that was at that moment an overwhelming sense of peaces washed over here as the waves did the sane. All consuming. And she knew that things truly would be all right.


End file.
